Chrysalis Stirring

Dear world,

I've decided I'm worth more than the names people call me. I've decided I'm worth more than the names I call myself.

I've decided I'm worth more than the value attributed me when I agree with an unpopular opinion. I've decided I'm worth more than the value attributed me when I don't agree with someone who thinks I should.

I've decided I'm worth more than the way I'm treated when someone is hurtful towards me because they don't like me. I've decided I'm worth more than the way I'm treated when someone disrespects me because they don't like me. I've decided I'm worth more than the way I'm treated when someone acts hurtfully, even when I can find a reason to excuse it.

Most of all, I've begun to realise that I'm worth at least the basic respect owed to everyone else in this life, and I'm no longer going to settle for less in order to give more.

I know this will come as a surprise to some people, and I'll try to remember that and be gentle as people around me adjust to this new me who is emerging from a cocoon of self-censure.

I'll try to remember that and be gentle with both others and myself as I discover that some people won't like the new me, that previously good friends will struggle to come to terms with this person who no longer accepts what has always been the status quo.

I will remind myself of my own worth as I gently bow out of relationships that are no longer healthy or helpful for me, and I will endeavour to do so gracefully in as respectful and kind manner as I can, without letting go of my goal - to be true to myself, my goals the life that is mine to live.

And world, I will remember to be grateful, even to the people to whom I am letting go, and the people who don't want to treat me the way I now realise I deserve. I hope I will allow those people to fuel my desire to respect and be respected in turn.

Thank you,
Chrysalis.

Affirmations

I did something pretty scary today, but I'm too all over the place to write about that just now, so instead, here are some statements from the little affirmation-y type cards that my counsellor shared with me today.

* It is safe for me to speak up for myself.
* I stand on my own two feet. I accept and use my own power.

* I am not responsible for other people. We are all under the law of our own consciousness.
* It is no fun being a victim. I refuse to be helpless anymore. I claim my own power.

* Everyone in my life has something to teach me. We have a purpose in being together.
* As I change my thoughts, the world around me changes.

* Each day is a new opportunity. Yesterday is over and done. Today is the first day of my future.
* I know that old, negative patterns no longer limit me. I let them go with ease.

* I have the strength to remain calm in the face of change.
* I am in the process of making positive changes in all areas of my life.

* It does not matter what other people say or do. What matters is how I choose to react and what I choose to believe about myself.
* I take a deep breath and allow myself to relax. My whole body calms down.

Things To Remember Every Day

I stole this from a handout Carol gave me a few weeks ago. I think we can all do with reminding ourselves regularly of at least one thing on this list -- whether we are women or men.


What it means to be a woman:

* I have the right to be treated with dignity, compassion, and respect, at all times.

* I have the right to make my own decisions about the course of my life.

* I have the right to have dreams - and to work toward making these dreams come true.

* I have the right to feel good about myself as a person and as a woman.

* I have the right to choose who will be my friends, whom I will spend time with, and whom I will confide in.

* I have the right to make mistakes.

* I have the right to change my mind.

* I have the right to be happy.

* I have the right to ask for what I want.

* I have the right to follow my own values and standards.

* I have the right to express all of my feelings, bo9th positive and negative (in a respectful way).

* I have the right to say no.

* I have the right to determine my own priorities.

* I have the right not to be responsible for others' behaviour, actions, feelings, or problems.

* I have the right to my own needs and personal space and time.

* I have the right to be in a non-abusive relationship.

* I have the right to change and grow.

* I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

* I have the right to be uniquely myself.


Since this entire post is pretty much cheer-leading statements, I won't include those here, but if I post my homework later tonight, I'll include some separate cheer-leading statements there.

Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.