This blog is part of my recovery, and I would like it to remain a safe place for me to share parts of myself and my life that people close to me may or may not know. As a result, while I'm not going crazy with privacy settings, I do ask that if you find this on your own and suspect you may know me, please respect my privacy by checking with us before reading any further. This obviously doesn't apply if one of us has given you the link!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Sanguine Saturday

Woah. Big day today. For my niece's birthday, I asked her if she wanted to go to DreamWorld or if she wanted a toy, and - big surprise - she wanted DreamWorld. It's been months, but I finally got to take her today. She's a great kid.

I didn't manage to meet the two challenges I set for myself this week, but I've decided to go easy on myself about it. It's been an extremely hard week. This new week is a new chance, and I'll keep taking it a day at a time and putting one foot in front of the other. I do believe that I'll see the other side of this tunnel, and I'm trying to keep going in the best way I can so that when I reach the light, I can still walk towards it under my own steam.

Success Stories:
Asking for things a couple of times.
Even though I didn't do something towards moving on every day of the past week, I did actually manage it on most. Challenge set again for the upcoming week.
I've been trying to do the right thing re sunscreen and zinc cream in regard to my burn scars now that I know why it's important not to get them burnt.
On Monday, when I heard that an appointment I was counting on had been cancelled, instead of falling apart, I decided to follow through with my plan to talk to Centrelink about my situation.
On Thursday, when things were collapsing around me at the shops, I kept my cool instead of turning to avoidance behaviours. (Yes, I know it didn't last after I got home, but I'll take anything I can get.)
When I recognised that I'm struggling a lot, I tried to do the right thing and make a phone call asking for more mindfulness that might help.
I have worked really hard to be sensible with my self harm, so that even if I am self harming, at least it has been controlled self harm.
I faced fear a little bit to take my niece on a ride at DreamWorld that she wanted to go on. (So what if it ended with me crying and my niece playing the adult telling me it was going to be okay!)

Gratitudes List/Things that make me happy:
New Terry Pratchett novels!
My beautiful nieces and nephew.
Knowing that my niece is a beautiful, compassionate person who knows that her aunt loves her.
Wise friends who, instead of just giving me the answers, help me find them for myself.

Cheer-leading statements:
It's okay to ask for help when I need it. It's okay to ask for help even before things are "out of control".
I'm not perfect and I don't have to be.
I am not a bad person.
When someone says something about me, it says a lot more about them than it does about me.

Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.

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