Chrysalis

I figured with so many changes, it's probably about time I added an "about me" page.

Whether you've been reading along for ages or just found this blog today, the first thing you should know is that my About Me page has been written, rewritten and deleted about ten times over by now. That probably speaks volumes more about me than whatever else I'm going to write here.

My past is varied and colourful, although not necessarily always pretty. I'm the only daughter in a family of 3 children, and yes, I was born smack bang between the boys, and my parents separated when I was around 3. My father remarried the year I turned 10, adding a much older stepbrother and stepsister to the family. In the interest of not making this a big long saga about my childhood, I'll say that both of my parents and my stepmother were/are abusive in various ways.

As they were extremely destructive for me, I've walked away from my father & stepmother and do not consider them part of my life. I've placed some distance between the rest of my family and myself while I work on my recovery but I am hopeful that as I grow and can limit the damage done in negative patterns, I will be able to rebuild healthier relationships with my mother and brothers. I still love them and I believe they, too, love me.

As a teenager I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (severe and recurrent) as well as (I believe) Generalised Anxiety Disorder. In 2008 Borderline Personality Disorder was added and I underwent a year of DBT in 2009, where I met my ex-partner (Bumface), though it took us another 3 years to get together. Somewhere between 2010 and 2011, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (or possibly Complex PTSD - different pdocs can't quite seem to agree) was added to my list of diagnonsense ;) and Dissociative Identity Disorder along with Depersonalisation Disorder at the end of 2011. In 2015, Panic Disorder with agoraphobia was also added.

I've been a victim of domestic violence, and am thankfully divorced from that man.

My living-with-me family is small, consisting of myself and my dog ("Furface/Twinkle Toes"). Furface was going to become my Assistance Dog, however that plan didn't work out and she is now 'simply' an Emotional Support Pet. My heart family is larger, also pulling in deeply loved friends who're thoughtful, supportive and generally wonderful people, as well as those below.

I have a daughter and a son, neither of whom survived full gestation. I lost my son, Mykelti Noah, when I was barely a teenager and then in 2005, after more than a year of trying to conceive, I lost Elyssami Faith. I'm also blessed with two gorgeous nieces and a nephew, who are all growing up far too fast, as well as their half brother who is my adopted nephew. I have split with my previous partner referenced in earlier entries of this blog ("Bumface"), but am now exploring a relationship with another man ("wildcode").

I love crafty/arty pursuits, children, animals and books, not necessarily in that order. I live in Caboolture (near Brisbane, in Queensland, Australia), but I've been to Sydney, Melbourne, Vanuatu, Fiji, Canberra, Ireland, England, Scotland and Sweden. It says a lot about my travelling style that I've been to at least one zoo/closest alternative in every place mentioned.

I am disabled and currently unable to work, however I am instead studying part time towards a diploma of counselling. I have also previously worked as a childcare assistant & group/room leader, which I did for about 5 years and loved.