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Saturday, May 22, 2010

Another Sanguine Saturday

It feels like I'm not moving forward. It feels like I'm still just treading water, that that's all I am ever doing. Am I really still not achieving anything?

Success Stories:
I Faced my Fear by going to my Karakan appointment and meeting my new Karakan support worker on Monday.

I made the choice NOT to get drunk or self harm that night and instead I took some extra medications so that I could go to sleep earlier (all within prescribed limits and, admittedly, helped by my still being unwell).

I made the choice to Face my Fear and go to my appointment on Wednesday to get my eyes tested. I also made the choice to reward myself afterwards with some good food and good friends, but when I started feeling (mentally) unwell after, I used my skills to make the choice to go home instead of staying so that I didn't upset my friends.

On Thursday I may not have managed to avoid self harm or alcohol, but I did manage to delay both for quite some time from when the urge first hit.

Although I haven't been using PLEASE skills as much as I maybe 'should' have done this week, I did do some things for my physical health needs that I would otherwise not have done.

Gratitudes List/Things that make me happy:
Packages in the mail.
Taking photographs.
Hot chocolate.

Cheer-leading statements:
Yeah, I'm not perfect. So what? Nor is anyone else.
I'm doing the best I can with what I have to work with.
Every day will end, even the harder ones, and with the new day will come a new start, a new chance.
I have the 'toolkit' to cope with anything that comes along.

Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.


  1. I'm so behind in my DBT it's not funny. I haven't done any homework for a bit and feel like I'm getting nowhere fast. I like that you like giraffes :-)

  2. It sounds like, in spite of some difficulty, you're making more healthy choices than unhealthy. Keep trying.

  3. Thank you both.

    Sairs: Giraffes are my favourite animal ever! I love just about every animal ever, but giraffes are just so amazing and special to me.

    Matthew: I wouldn't say that the healthy/unhealthy ratio is that much in favour of healthy, to be totally honest -- but I can say that the number of healthy choices is up from where I was a few years ago. Maybe at the moment that's enough.

  4. I like your positive affirming perspectives. I think it would help me a lot to see things that way. I too had to go to the doctor this week, which was really hard for me, but I only saw it as a hard experinece and didn't really pat myself on the back for having done it.
    Thanks for showing a different way of seeing thing.

  5. "It feels like I'm not moving forward. It feels like I'm still just treading water, that that's all I am ever doing. Am I really still not achieving anything?"

    people who arent moving dont have success stories, gratitudes, and cheerleading statements.

  6. Congrats on the strides you've made. Despite how you may feel, it seems to me that you are moving forward. :)