This blog is part of my recovery, and I would like it to remain a safe place for me to share parts of myself and my life that people close to me may or may not know. As a result, while I'm not going crazy with privacy settings, I do ask that if you find this on your own and suspect you may know me, please respect my privacy by checking with us before reading any further. This obviously doesn't apply if one of us has given you the link!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Sanguine Saturday

I'm a bit tearful at the moment. Things aren't going well between my mother and I (or, actually, between my brothers and I) and this is a month filled with very significant anniversaries for me... And what better time to look at the good things than when things seem to be leaking out the gutter?

Success Stories:
Last week, when I had to get a dressing done by the GP rather than the nurse, he allowed another doctor and her patient to enter the room. I was extremely uncomfortable with this (particularly as I, at the time, did not have pants on!) and although I didn't initially do anything, when my nurse asked on Tuesday how it had gone, I was honest with her and admitted that I'd been very uncomfortable when it happened. It may not have been a major win for DEAR MAN, but it was certainly a start.

I have been angry with my mother for several days! I know that this may not sound like much of a success, but given how much difficulty I've had in the past with experiencing anger, especially anger directed at someone I care about, it's huge.

While waiting for a friend to have her eyes tested, I decided to be brave and get mine done as well. Not only did I go to the first one, but I went along to the follow up they requested as well!

I went to my ATODS appointment! True, I was absolutely terrified, I took BlackJack (the stuffed giraffe who goes pretty much *everywhere* with me) and Kendall (the bear who usually goes along mainly for photograph outings or if I'm particularly anxious), and I babbled like you wouldn't believe, but I went.

I got my Next Generation DVDs without my docket! Mum had taken the call yesterday while I was out, and I'd meant to grab the receipt on my way out in the morning since I was going to the shopping centre where they were holding the DVDs. While I was there, I thought I would just stick my head in and ask at JB if I would be able to pick the DVDs up without the docket... and they let me! I had to use a bit of DEAR MAN, and I fumbled a lot, but I did it and I got my DVDs!

Gratitudes List/Things that make me happy:
Crafty supplies.
Star Trek!

Cheer-leading statements:
I am not a bad person.
It's okay to feel however I feel.

Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.


  1. I love this post. I love to craft a lot, my thing is making cards and digital scrapbooking. I also have a 7 plush friends, as I like to call them. Oh my blog Ziggy (he is a lion that has some strange habits) is the most famous, but I have Solomon too. I had him and Harold my little hippo, with me when I was in hopsital two weeks ago. I also then got Bella while I was shopping on a hosptial leave outing and she is the most gorgeous little bunny. I am re-doing all my DBT as I did it in group about4 years ago and am now doing it one on one with my psychologist. Sorry if I've already said this, I can't never remember previous comments, lol! Anyway, I think you're doing really awesome, especially in situations that are really uncomfortable. DBT is so helpful when you practice it and use it. I must remember to do this more!
    Sarah xx

  2. Sorry you're having a rough time of it. I'm impressed with your ablity to look on the brighter side and see your successes. I know that's hard. And you really have had some great successes. Things that have taken a lot of courage. Way to go!

  3. well done so proud of you keep it up

  4. Thanks, Sairs. :) I saw that on your other blog! Card-making is one of my favourite pursuits as well, but I'm also into just about anything crafty. Photography's probably my main one, and I saw you're into that, too, which is neat! I saw your plush friends on your blog, they're gorgeous! I'm glad you have them to keep you company. Has it been easier or more difficult, do you think, doing DBT over again? Also don't worry about repeating yourself on here, goodness knows I repeat myself often enough everywhere! ;)

    Thanks Stacy! I've been feeling really quite discouraged at the moment, because I'm seeing all the ways I'm failing and judging myself on that. Maybe I need to take some time to be a little less judgemental with myself!

    Thanks, girl searching. Love. :)