Sanguine Saturday :)

Aww, things didn't quite pan out the way I was thinking with my news to share, so fingers crossed but it's looking likely for some time in the next couple of weeks. More to come later! ;)



Success Stories:
Still no self harm! I think we're in record territory again here. ;)
Because I know I don't always have the most realistic view on things, I arranged for Adam to be present during a doctor's appointment (tomorrow) to discuss a couple of things my doctor needs to know before I go on some OTC medication I want to take.
Managed to get a bit of stuff done in my room this week.
I've been reading again - a good sign for my concentration!
One thing I've been trying to do lately is downsize the amount of "stuff" I have, and I've been able to get rid of a fair bit this week.



Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Giraffes.
Pocket Frogs (the iPhone game).
Adam.
Hope.
Excitement.



Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
It's okay to make healthy choices for myself.
It's okay to do things that other people don't approve of, too. It's my life I'm living, not theirs!
I have strength, determination and persistence. If I set my mind to this, I CAN do it.
I don't have to be perfect. If I make a mistake, people will still care about me.
Even if I don't feel it, who I am really is 'enough'. I don't have to make up for it.



Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.

Sanguine... Wednesday? ;)

Oh dear, another very late Sanguine Saturday post. Things here have been a little bit crazy and a large bit busy, plus I was a bit ill with a headache for a couple of days. I've something big in the works, but I don't want to write about it until I know for sure what's happening, but hopefully by next week I'll have some good news to share.

I'm relatively stable at the moment, despite the crazy reasserting itself around the newness of my relationship and a few things going on with my physical health; I've fallen in love with a new song -- Beautiful by Bethany Dillon -- and become somewhat obsessed with an iPhone game called Pocket Frogs. If you have an iPhone you should definitely try it, it's adorable. :D



Success Stories:
Still NO self harm!
I'm working on some stuff that is a bit of an issue for me right now.
My weight has remained fairly stable despite the Christmassy eating I did.
I'm working on my boundaries still.
I'm still working on changing how I deal with things.




Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Giraffes.
Pocket Frogs.
New music.
Having things to look forward to.
Teasing (in a nice, fun way).
Mario Kart
Whoopin' people who think they're going to win at a race... :p





Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
It's okay to explore who I am. It's okay to have likes, dislikes and even *wants*.
Letting myself be loved and cared about isn't a bad thing.
It's okay to make healthier choices for myself.




Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.

Very Late Sanguine Saturday!

Oops. I forgot to take my laptop with me when I stayed over Adam's after my birthday... then didn't make it home until last night, whereupon I forgot to post!

Things are still going okay for me, despite "reality" and "the crazy" reasserting itself around the new things in my life - which is as expected. And for once I'm taking a much healthier approach and actually *talking* about things with my partner.
There were some hurts around my birthday, but on the whole the day was probably the best I've had in many years, for which I'm very grateful. Now it's the aftermath and that's not as bad as normal either, so I'm feeling more positive than I usually do about how things will go over the next little while.

The one big blight on things at the moment is that my unlimited sessions with my psychologist ran out and I'm now only able to get a maximum of 18 sessions with her this year - maybe even less. However, plans to move are stepping forward, with a few small changes that I'll be discussing with Sonia next time I see her before implementing, but if she thinks it's doable, it's something we'll look into within the month.



Success Stories:
Still no self harm
When a situation was upsetting me, I spoke to Adam and we left.
I spoke to the nurse about something very uncomfortable for me.
I'm continuing to explore and push at my boundaries (carefully)
I'm changing how I deal with things (into more constructive/positive coping techniques).



Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Feeling safe.
Adam.
Hope!
Fairy floss.
Beating Adam at the car racing (arcade). :p
Teasing and playing and having fun.



Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
It's okay to explore who I am. It's okay to have likes, dislikes and even *wants*.
Letting myself be loved and cared about isn't a bad thing.
It's okay to make healthier choices for myself.




Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.

Another Late Sanguine Saturday

Oops! I got so distracted I completely forgot it was Saturday... and then that it was Sunday! Oh well, better late than never, and since I've not been to sleep yet, I'm considering it still Sunday. ;)

It's been another lovely week, though I've noticed my usual birthday anxiety is beginning to rear up again. Never mind - on the plus side, most of my supports are back this week, just in time. ;)



Success Stories:
Still absolutely no self harm. Is this something of a record?
I followed the agreement Adam and I made -- even when he didn't! :p
I followed medical directions and since that didn't work, I'm going to follow through and speak to the nurse again tomorrow.
I'm continuing to explore and push gently at my boundaries in safe ways.
I handled some uncomfortable moments and difficult conversations instead of hiding and pretending nothing was going on.
I'm giving myself the opportunity to learn who I am.



Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Adam.
Feeling safe.
Giraffes.
Fruit mince pies and custard.
Beginning to learn about me!



Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
It's okay to let myself be cared about.
Just because someone is frustrated (or annoyed, or angry, or whatever emotion!) because of something I did doesn't mean that they don't like me anymore.
It's okay to allow myself to be vulnerable.
Exploring as an adult says nothing bad about me.
It's okay to be not comfortable with some things. It's okay to say no to those things.



Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.

Sanguine Sunday - New Years Day edition. :)

Happy New Year, everybody! I was going to post this up yesterday, but I was busy, and figured it was better to wait until today anyway so I could properly wish you all a good new year while I was at it. ;)

Things are continuing well for me, despite a few small hiccups. I'm doing better than I have in a long time, and as an added bonus, I'm actually happy! I'm feeling safe, in general, and it's really showing. Last night I kicked back on Adam's couch playing DDO and had a single drink -- with probably half a nip of vodka -- and felt no desire to get completely blind. It was lovely.



Success Stories:
I followed my plan on keeping myself as safe as possible while my support team are away.
No self harm.
Survived Christmas at my brother's place.
Continued exploring and gently pushing at my boundaries.
I spoke to my nurse about a physical concern I had, even though it was very embarassing for me.
I followed medical direction instead of pretending a problem didn't exist.
I'm giving myself the opportunity to learn how to be loved.



Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Giraffes.
DDO.
Cinnamon nuts.
Adam.
Falling asleep on Adam's lap/in his arms.
Feeling safe.
Catching up with friends.
Feeling loved.



Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
It's okay to let someone love/care for me.
Exploring my boundaries as an adult says nothing about my childhood.
It's okay to say no to things I'm uncomfortable with. Nothing bad will happen because of it.
It's okay to let someone in and be vulnerable.



Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.