This blog is part of my recovery, and I would like it to remain a safe place for me to share parts of myself and my life that people close to me may or may not know. As a result, while I'm not going crazy with privacy settings, I do ask that if you find this on your own and suspect you may know me, please respect my privacy by checking with us before reading any further. This obviously doesn't apply if one of us has given you the link!

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Sanguine Sunday

Sanguine Sunday is here again! Also, if you missed it, I made a post about invisiblity & responsibility yesterday. I wanted to put it up separately to Sanguine Sunday last time, but it's taken until now to get it written.

Anyhow, in the last few weeks I've hit a few milestones for myself as well as spending time working on some areas that've needed it - like getting to know my new (local) psychologist! I've had a few goals that I've not made, like going back to shelter where I volunteer, but on the whole I've done pretty well at staying on track of things - and most of the things I haven't followed through on have been influenced by outside factors (like the weather and my health). I've made some discoveries and explored a lot of thoughts, feelings, experiences and realisations that needed visiting.

More testing with the new psychologist has pointedly very strongly to DID and depersonalisation in particular (surprised? Yeah, me either), but of course the BPD label stays with me too. Therapy will be focused on what's causing the most problems in my life -- which at the moment is the old abandonment terrors and tendency to panic at the suggestion of rejection.

Success Stories:
I hit my six month sober date a few weeks ago.
I also made a full year with no suicide attempts.
Handled a couple of rough interpersonal situations.
I've been practicing a lot of thought challenge.

Gratitudes/Happy Things:
My beautiful niece had a great day out for her birthday. And so did I!
Giraffe tattoos.
Poppa bear & baby bear.
Silly games.
Fry's Planet World -- must see this!

Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
There are people who care about me and want my company.
I don't believe in "good people" or "bad people" -- which means I can't BE a bad person.
I deserve the good things people say about me.

Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.

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