This blog is part of my recovery, and I would like it to remain a safe place for me to share parts of myself and my life that people close to me may or may not know. As a result, while I'm not going crazy with privacy settings, I do ask that if you find this on your own and suspect you may know me, please respect my privacy by checking with us before reading any further. This obviously doesn't apply if one of us has given you the link!

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Sanguine Saturday With A Question

I need this so much right now that I'm doing it even though I'll probably need to go back and fix it (check things and add things etc) later.

Success Stories:
I get up every day.
I've had some days where I've chosen not to drink, and some days where I've simply chosen to drink less, and I've agreed with Michele to at least be aware of how much I am drinking. (Who knew a single serve of vodka was so little?)
I did the right thing and showed the hospital the new burn.
I went to the candle lighting. I read my poems. I stayed (mainly) present for the whole thing.
I talked a little with Carol about some sensitive subjects and made a plan to talk to her next session about my son (because the candle lighting bought up a lot to do with him).
I supported a friend who needed me.
I talked with someone about an issue that's been going on for a long time and made a plan to talk to others next time I see them. Not only is this facing fear, avoiding avoidance and using my GIVE skills, but I DEAR MANd (kinda).
I've been getting work done for the exhibition I've entered some work into.
I've been practicing my mindfulness even more.

This week I'm grateful for:
My new blue shirt with a giraffe on it.
My camera.
You. (And a couple of other people who don't read this, as well.)
Craft and beading supplies.

Cheer-leading statements:
Even if it's true, she's not disapproving of *me*. (Thanks, Kate!)
Just because 'the crazy' says something, it doesn't make it fact. I can choose not to listen to that voice.
It's okay to feel the way I feel, even if it doesn't seem that way.
Other peoples' judgements of me do not define me.

This week I'm going to leave you with some questions that came up for me with my cheerleading statements: if other peoples' judgements don't define me, what does? How do you define yourself? How would you teach someone else to define themselves? Are they the same?

Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.


  1. "Even if it's true, she's not disapproving of *me*. (Thanks, Kate!)"
    if the "her" is who i suspect, this is true. well, i mean, its probably true anyway, but you get what i mean.

    i don't define myself. i find it sets limitations on me. i am what i am in the moment, knowing that i am doing my best given my current set of belief. who i a shifts day to day, moment to moment, in my process. telling myself "i am this, i am that" as a rule, i find i believe myself and it makes change more difficult.

  2. ...and if "her" is not who i suspect it is.... check out my egomaniacal laugh! mwahahhahahhahaitsallaboutmemwhahah

  3. Your questions are tough ones, I am not sure I can answer them. I would have to have a long hard think about it. I think if I did my list of things I was grateful for, I would now say cats again (this used to be an everday one when I had my old boy). I love cat facial expressions and body language as they make me smile. I liked this post by the way :-)

  4. Thank you both for your comments!

    Hah, Sonya. I don't think you're thinking of the same person as this person's name starts with K. (And no, it's not Kate. :P) Re defining yourself, that's an interesting way to look at it. Doesn't it make it hard, though, to find a base self identity that way? I wonder whether starting to think in terms of, "I am generally x, I am often y" might be a good in between step for me.

    Sairs, there's nothing wrong with including the same thing every week/day! Kitties do have very expressive body language and facial expression - even the really big ones! (I was watching the tigers at Dreamworld yesterday.) And if you think about it and come up with answers or ideas at any point, I'd love to hear them!

  5. well... i dont find that i need a defined base identity. my personality is there whether i define it or not, so i just let it do its thing i guess.