This blog is part of my recovery, and I would like it to remain a safe place for me to share parts of myself and my life that people close to me may or may not know. As a result, while I'm not going crazy with privacy settings, I do ask that if you find this on your own and suspect you may know me, please respect my privacy by checking with us before reading any further. This obviously doesn't apply if one of us has given you the link!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Sanguine Saturday At Home

Here I am, back home in Brisbane. After my epic flight, I arrived on Tuesday night - I'm still way out of whack with times and getting very confused a lot.

In other news, I'm not actually doing very well. I'm struggling a huge amount with overwhelming emotions, loneliness (and a sense of loss now that my trip's over) and urges, and coming back to find out I don't have access to most of my support system (or to the people who can give me the documentation I need in order to move) was quite a blow.

Success Stories:
No burning.
I started conversations with strangers on my flights back/in airports.
I called and set up an appointment for next week with my alcohol counsellor (first available appointment).
I called and placed myself back on the waiting list with CASV and I have an intake appointment next week.
I went to call government housing in Canberra (and discovered I don't need to until I have my supporting documentation).
I called my support worker -- and discovered that she's now changed positions so I'm back on the waiting list there, too.
I pushed on my boundaries when I found I didn't like the restrictions they were placing on me when I returned here.
I've been practicing asking for things.
(Sort of fits above, but I want it to be a separate point as well) I've been practicing asking for reassurance and for clarification of things instead of just assuming.
I bought my nephew's birthday present.

Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Poetry. Writing it, reading it, helping convince friends to write it... ;)
Opportunities for growth
Good friends
Australian food! ;)

Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
It's okay to be honest about how I am doing.
It's okay to ask for things I need or want. Asking doesn't mean expecting, it doesn't mean demanding, it just means asking.
One day doesn't ruin everything. It doesn't negate the work that came before that day.
I have emotions for a reason, they serve a purpose. It is okay and important to feel things sometimes.
It's okay for people to like things about me. It's okay for people to care about me.

Don't forget to post up your own version of Sanguine Saturday (any day, any format as long as it's positive-focused!) and shoot me the link! If you're joining us in this challenge, I want to know about it. Finally, of course, don't forget to check out this week's list of Sanguine Saturday versions:
Lua of Almost Positive with Weekend Positivity
River of My Verse with Great Things

Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.


  1. Why no support system? Why no documentation?

  2. I've lost my CASV counsellor for now because it's been too long since my last appointment, and my Karakan support worker is inaccessible because she changed positions inside the company and they've had a bunch of people leave so there's not anybody free to take me just now.

    Documentation has to wait until I can reconnect with those services. Michele and I don't talk a lot about home so she can't provide much in the way of supporting documentation and my current GP won't do it because he says it's my word against my mother's (who is also one of his patients).

    I'll be on the search next week for a bulk-billing GP who will provide a letter, but I'll still need the letters from the other two services.

  3. What letter do you need? I don't quite understand "my word against my mother's"

  4. I need documentation to prove that I'm moving out because of a domestic violence situation.

  5. I see. Good luck.

  6. Thank you. I'll be able to get it eventually, I was just hoping not to have to wait.

  7. Welcome home! I always feel such a sense of letdown and emptiness when I return from an overseas trip. I hope this passes for you soon and you can look back at all your wonderful memories. Hope you get your housing sorted out soon too.