This blog is part of my recovery, and I would like it to remain a safe place for me to share parts of myself and my life that people close to me may or may not know. As a result, while I'm not going crazy with privacy settings, I do ask that if you find this on your own and suspect you may know me, please respect my privacy by checking with us before reading any further. This obviously doesn't apply if one of us has given you the link!

Saturday, June 19, 2010

It's Sanguine Saturday yet again!

It's been a long couple of weeks. On the 8th of June last year, I lost my dear friend, Dani, to suicide. As the anniversary approached and past, she was quite prominent in my thoughts and memories, then on Wednesday of last week (the day after Dani's anniversary), I received a phone call from a close friend letting me know that her mother had died. She went home to Rockhampton and I offered what support I could, including making the trip myself to support my friend through the funeral. (I'm still not sure how much help I was but if I made even a second of the time I was there 'easier', and I hope I did, then it was worth it.) During this past week, I also found out that my best friend was in critical condition in hospital. She's doing a lot better since the first day, now, but for a while there, I was very afraid for her.

What with everything that's been going on, it's probably no surprise that I am absolutely shattered right now.

Success Stories:
Despite everything, I'm two days away from reaching an entire month with no self harm (not counting skin picking and hair pulling, both of which have at least been at a minimum).

Resisting the urge to get drunk alone in my bedroom.

Trying to look after my physical health - even if sometimes I wasn't perfect at it, I did at least fairly consistently give it a good try all week.

Gratitudes List/Things that make me happy:
My upcoming holiday.
My nieces and nephew.
Having my nephew say to me, "When you go, I'll miss you. When you come back, I won't miss you." Aww little man, you are too cute.
My best friend is awake and coherent.
Working medication.
I'm blessed to have some amazing and wonderful people in my life.

Cheer-leading statements:
I do not have to take on what others say or believe about me, especially if it does not ring true with my 'evidence'.
I am not a bad person.
I can cope with anything.
Ruminating on what might go wrong won't stop it from happening. Ruminating is rarely helpful.
If these stories aren't helpful, it doesn't matter whether they're true or false.
Change does not make the caterpillar a lie.

(Okay, with the exception of that first one, I stole all of these from last week. That's okay. They're still challenges.)

Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.


  1. It's funny, I always have a little smile when I see that giraffes make you happy. I love hippos. It's probably because I have Harold, my little hippo plush friend, but I also get excited when I see them on foxtel. I love how their little ears flutter back and forth. I also love giraffes too. I dont know why though. I guess I love so many animals. I love watching big cats, because they remind me so much of little cats (I know that sounds funny) but when I went to dreamworld to tiger island a few years ago, I was expecting them to be different in some way other than their size. I was amazed when I could see all my cats' movements and little expressions in this beautful cats. I think animals are just awesome all around. They make me smile. I have some animal cards for kids coming up on my creative blog later on today too by the way :-)

  2. I'm with you, almost all animals are lovely! For me, I'd never really been all that fussed with giraffes ... until I saw my first one at Melbourne Zoo. I stood there for an hour before my husband pulled me away, I was that entranced. It was the gentleness in something so absolutely huge and powerful that did it. (Well, y'know, and the long blue tongue!)

    Hippos are lovely, but I was surprised watching something about them a while back when it said they're one of the most aggressive animals there are! I'd always thought they were quite peaceful, LOL.

    I love Tiger Island. Aren't they gorgeous?

    Thanks for the heads up on the cards! :D

  3. Congradulations on all your successes, and thank you for sharing them.