This blog is part of my recovery, and I would like it to remain a safe place for me to share parts of myself and my life that people close to me may or may not know. As a result, while I'm not going crazy with privacy settings, I do ask that if you find this on your own and suspect you may know me, please respect my privacy by checking with us before reading any further. This obviously doesn't apply if one of us has given you the link!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

September's Second Sanguine Saturday

Brr, the weather has turned quite cold again here -- really not a fan!

In not so surprising news, I'm still struggling. Last Sunday was Australian Father's Day, and I found myself visiting him as per orders. On the other hand, this time around my stepsister was there with her own family, and I had been somewhat looking forward (with some trepidation) to seeing her again. The aftermath of the visit has been pretty much as normal: depression, withdrawal, increased anxiety and far too many panic attacks - especially when I leave the house on my own.

Things will get better though, they always do eventually, it's just a matter of holding on until then.

Success Stories:
No burning.
No drinking.
I've kept all my appointments.
I've lost heart a few times and I've struggled horribly but I haven't actually given up.
I stood up for myself.
I've been trying to ask for what I want/need, and practicing saying no sometimes to things that aren't okay (for whatever reason).
When I started to privately panic about the state of a relationship after finding out I couldn't get something I wanted, I stopped covering it up and told the other person and asked for reassurance that things were okay (and got it).
I cleaned my room.
I finished a scrapbooking double page.

Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Meaningful conversations
Rereading good fanfic
Having a ticket to see QI live in Brisbane in November
Seeing my nieces and nephew again

Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
I am safe.
The universe does not parcel out a set amount of "me-focus" that is allowed - not in specific relationships or in a general sense.
Feelings are not facts. "I feel worthless" does not mean "I am worthless".
It's okay to ask for reassurance and to check that things are okay.
It's okay for people to care about me.

Don't forget to post up your own version of Sanguine Saturday (any day, any format as long as it's positive-focused!) and shoot me the link! If you're joining us in this challenge, I want to know about it.

Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.


  1. I can't believe how cold our little city has suddenly become! It's like they gave us spring for a few days and then gave us winter back. I hope you're keeping warm and I hope your anxiety lets up soon. Mine's been pretty bad lately too!

  2. It certainly is! It was 5c in my room the day before yesterday! Ridiculous! Last night I cheated and put my heater on so I could find warmth.

    Hope your anxiety lets up soon too, thinking of you.
    (Did you go to the papercrafts festival btw? I thought of you and your scrapbooking while I was there!)