This blog is part of my recovery, and I would like it to remain a safe place for me to share parts of myself and my life that people close to me may or may not know. As a result, while I'm not going crazy with privacy settings, I do ask that if you find this on your own and suspect you may know me, please respect my privacy by checking with us before reading any further. This obviously doesn't apply if one of us has given you the link!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Sanguine Saturday Sunday ;)

Well, once again I lost track of the days of the week and missed Sanguine Saturday. This time, though, I missed it because I was busy enjoying myself role playing with a friend... in Canberra!

Success Stories:
In less than 24 hours I'm going to be facing down six weeks of self-harm free time, as well as an equal length of time since getting drunk in my bedroom.

Although I had a panic attack on the plane, I used mindfulness to contain it!

I've been eating in front of people (something that terrifies me). Not a lot, but it still counts.

I allowed my friend to buy me a drink and scones at a tea house the other day.

When I saw Carol, I set myself up to not have an 'out' when I come back so that I actually start talking about what I'm supposed to be talking about.

I told Erica a little bit more of my history -- pretty important since she is my support worker and knew pretty much nothing about it beyond the self harm, BPD diagnosis, and recent treatment.

I've been wearing the special bike pants that the hospital had made for me, and taking my medication every day. (Medical compliance!)

I hit my brother up for the money he owes me.

I did the whole airport thing by myself!

Joining the role play game last night with my friend and her friends. I'd not met most of the people before, I'd not role played before (well, I have done text based RP online, but it's very, very different) and both things are situations that I would normally avoid due to anxiety.

Gratitudes List/Things that make me happy (alternatively, apparently, things I love about Canberra):
Being in Canberra with my friend
My friend's kitties! I'm especially taken with Flash, a friendly ginger girl.
Role playing was fun
There were BUNNIES in the PET STORE! Bunnies!
The excitement of walking in crunchy leaves
One of my oldest friends (length of time I've known her oldest, not as in she's old!) is coming tomorrow to stay here as well
We're going to the snow on Wednesday!
The dinosaur museum and the little blue monster (a Diplodocus) named Littlefoot I got for myself while I was there.
Tea houses with fireplaces. :D
Good friends

Cheer-leading statements:
The butterfly doesn't make the caterpillar a lie.
I am not a burden.
I am not a bad person.
It's okay to have fun and enjoy myself!
I am not responsible for anyone other than myself.

Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.


  1. It sounds like you're doing all the right things and allowing yourself to ask for what you need. This is awesome and it's so hard to do. Especially asking for money someone owes you. Well done. Oh by the way, I have move from This Lunatic Express to my new blog. There is a link on the old site. I hope to see you over there and yay for giraffes!

  2. I'm not really reading a lot at the moment because I'm still in Canberra until the 15th, but I'll try to remember to add you on your new blog when I get home!

  3. 6 weeks without self harming is an amazing achievement. good luck with your continuing recovery.