tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486214074384158284.post7728513867804952618..comments2023-05-03T01:18:17.167+10:00Comments on Dialectic Dichotomy: The need for ALL levels of recovery to be validated in their need for supportChrysalishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17987538360359912475noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486214074384158284.post-81555580121720516252015-05-21T22:18:25.482+10:002015-05-21T22:18:25.482+10:00So true! I see people getting more attention/care/...So true! I see people getting more attention/care/support when they are visibly in pain via too thin, new cuts or recent suicide attempt or overdose when I am not visibly struggling but internally still in so much pain and need the same support!Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03989474974804429103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486214074384158284.post-55024164026188419322014-06-20T21:31:06.647+10:002014-06-20T21:31:06.647+10:00I don't corral myself off that way when I'...I don't corral myself off that way when I'm well (and tend more towards it when I'm unwell), but if you're worried about bringing each other down, that definitely makes a lot of sense. I think there's good reason to be concerned about it, if you don't have good boundaries and ability to remove yourself from triggering situations like that.<br /><br />Thanks for sharing your thoughts, it's good to see you're still out there. :)Chrysalishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17987538360359912475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486214074384158284.post-64826796229645663772014-06-20T21:27:52.818+10:002014-06-20T21:27:52.818+10:00Thank you for responding, Pixie. I'm so sorry ...Thank you for responding, Pixie. I'm so sorry you're having trouble getting support because you've made decisions to be healthier, that definitely sucks. :(Chrysalishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17987538360359912475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486214074384158284.post-57525905869059841742014-06-20T21:26:53.522+10:002014-06-20T21:26:53.522+10:00I feel the same way, about where we met. I actuall...I feel the same way, about where we met. I actually wrote this thinking of my BPD group, but it definitely carries over; and is probably even more truthful of (where we met) than it is about my BPD group.<br /><br />I disagree though that such places are always going to be more useful for the less healthy. I think that if you structure the group/community around health and proactivity, it can be done.<br /><br />That's what I'm trying to do for my facebook group and I think it's working. Having a professional would definitely be fantastic, but I think regular people working as a team can do that, too; within a defined framework.<br /><br />Anyway, thank you for your thoughts! And for weighing in. I'm surprised, but pleased, you still read. <3Chrysalishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17987538360359912475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486214074384158284.post-51770188335441560362014-06-20T21:23:08.202+10:002014-06-20T21:23:08.202+10:00Yes, that can definitely be the case! And I can ce...Yes, that can definitely be the case! And I can certainly relate to the difficulties faced when our requests for help are ignored now that we "look" more fine.<br /><br />Thank you for your response!Chrysalishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17987538360359912475noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486214074384158284.post-72993338029971080472014-06-17T06:27:27.399+10:002014-06-17T06:27:27.399+10:00I know what you mean! When I am well, I don't ...I know what you mean! When I am well, I don't go anywhere I suspect I might know anyone from hospital, support groups etc and if I do run into someone, I back right off, offer little of myself if any and just keep on moving past if I can.<br />SarahSairshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09110575221596955775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486214074384158284.post-88972056209077766782014-06-15T22:33:01.340+10:002014-06-15T22:33:01.340+10:00Spot. On. Trying to get over this one myself, C. I...Spot. On. Trying to get over this one myself, C. I've waited four months to be treated because I don't scream and shout and can string a coherent sentence. And I could have written what Tegan said myself. I bang my head against walls every day! xx PixieNic https://www.blogger.com/profile/16155143861854659940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486214074384158284.post-31935546973575039052014-06-13T23:43:21.555+10:002014-06-13T23:43:21.555+10:00"Whether we like it or not, those of us a lit..."Whether we like it or not, those of us a little further on the recovery journey can find that really difficult to deal with. Being surrounded by people seeking short term solutions can really drag us down, and it can lead to the temptation to go back to using those short term solutions, instead of concentrating on the long term solutions that actually change things."<br /><br />This, in short, is why I don't go back to that place where I met you anymore. I feel like when you are less healthy than the average in a support group of peers, it's helpful...but when you're more healthy than the average, it can become detrimental pretty easily (this was true for me, at least). I'm not sure how you balance it -- presence of a professional to steer the conversations in healthy directions with authority, maybe, but that's not an appropriate solution for all such groups.<br /><br />I think you're right that it's not out of line to set boundaries on unhealthy behaviors, and would probably be a good thing for such groups overall...but I think regardless, such places are always going to be more useful for the less healthy (again using my nebulous definition of healthy).Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15364380139420354094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6486214074384158284.post-80721149685210478612014-06-13T18:51:33.262+10:002014-06-13T18:51:33.262+10:00This is something I have come up against in treatm...This is something I have come up against in treatment, because I'm not at square one anymore then a lot of my crisis moments are ignored. I think it's not always that we are 'better' but that we sometimes learn to adapt to our surroundings and try to fit in. So while we may look fine, we still don't those tools to help with the inner turmoil. Tegan Churchillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13437605496110028625noreply@blogger.com