This blog is part of my recovery, and I would like it to remain a safe place for me to share parts of myself and my life that people close to me may or may not know. As a result, while I'm not going crazy with privacy settings, I do ask that if you find this on your own and suspect you may know me, please respect my privacy by checking with us before reading any further. This obviously doesn't apply if one of us has given you the link!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Sanguine Saturday

How was your week? Mine was pretty full on again - I had a fair few appointments, a friend joined me for Jazzercise and I explored rather too many stores. Three of those appointments this week were with Sonia, my Spychologist. Things with her are going really well, I think. I like her more every week and I think she's an even better fit than I thought in the beginning. My sessions are hard, but I am being very open and honest with her, although I've had a few moments of insecurity about things.



Success Stories:
No burning.
No drinking.
No SI overdoses.
In fact, no SI at all! (Can't risk my new tattoo!)
I was able to be flexible enough to allow some changes into my week's "plan".
I posted in From Another Angle every day (except today, but I'll be sorting out a post there once I post this).
I made banana bread and it worked.
I tidied my room.



Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Giraffes.
Friends.
Fruit.
Music.
Productivity.
Corsets! (Thanks to my adventure catching the wrong bus, I now own two!)
QI! Only 4 more sleeps!


Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
I can cope with anything I choose to.
Thoughts and feelings aren't facts.
"Not right now" is not the same as "never again". Be patient.



Don't forget to post up your own version of Sanguine Saturday (any day, any format as long as it's positive-focused!) and shoot me the link! If you're joining us in this challenge, I want to know about it. Finally, of course, don't forget to check out this week's list of Sanguine Saturday versions:
River of My Verse with Great Things



Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Sanguine Saturday After A Busy Week!

It's been an interesting week, and a very busy one at that! I think I was properly out (or close to it) every day since my last post.

A visit to the doctor's this week saw my medication adjusted higher, but of course there is no real expectation of any results for a while still.

A few days ago I heard back from CASV where I've been on the waiting list since I returned to Australia - my counsellor is taking some leave so they're going to discuss on Tuesday what to do about me, and then I'll probably hear again next week. It was good to catch up with Melissa on a few things, though - and it was especially lovely to hear the nice things she had to say about me. Apparently I'm always bright and chirpy on the 'phone, and (in person) when I talk, my eyes sparkle.



Success Stories:
No burning.
No drinking.
No overdoses for SI (and this has actually been true for a couple of weeks! And I haven't overdosed for any other reason, either, which is also good.)
I went to Jazzercise (terrifying but the experience was brilliant)
I went to my alcohol counselling appointment (Michele)
I was able to make my next appointment with Michele for *three* weeks away!
I signed a 6-day safety contract that even included not burning.
I got my tattoo sorted so now it honours both of my children! (And isn't blurry or faded.)
Getting my tattoo done meant coping with touch for an extended period, and I survived it.
I posted in From Another Angle every single day.
I made it to the craft show today and I coped quite well with the crowds.



Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Giraffes.
My tattoo.
Craft fairs.
Friends.
Fruit.
Music.
Packages that arrive and cheer up friends.



Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
I can cope with anything, as long as I choose to do that.
It's okay to get a reality check sometimes.
Thoughts and feelings aren't facts.




Don't forget to post up your own version of Sanguine Saturday (any day, any format as long as it's positive-focused!) and shoot me the link! If you're joining us in this challenge, I want to know about it. Finally, of course, don't forget to check out this week's list of Sanguine Saturday versions:
River of My Verse with Great Things -- I missed this one last week!



Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Sanguine Saturday / Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day

"I fell in love with you while you were still forming in my womb. Now I hold you in my heart instead of my arms." ~Unknown.

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I wasn't sure whether I'd post Sanguine Saturday on this day, not even when I started this post, but it feels right to post it. The best way I can honour my children is to live well, not fall apart, and looking at my achievements over the week, and the positive things in my life, are ways of doing that.

So, 'Lyssi and Myk'i, this is for you.


Success Stories:
No burning.
No drinking.
I've been keeping up with my exercise and it's showing. I'm much more fit than I was even a few months ago!
I attempted brownies, even if they didn't work. I also made muffins.
I told my doctor the truth, even though it meant narrowing my options.
I haven't cancelled any of my appointments with Sonia, even though several times I wanted to (out of avoidance).
I've spent some time doing creative things this week.
I did my therapy homework even though I absolutely dreaded it.
I'm opening up a bit more to Sonia every time I see her, and every time I do, I discover new ways that she is a really good fit for me.
I finally managed to get to a post office and send a couple of things off.
I reached one of my goals for my body, and am hoping to reach the next one soon.
I've started trying to get back into posting one of my photographs every day over at From Another Angle.



Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Giraffes.
Cayle.
Music.
Good friends.
Torchlight.
Having a psychologist who cares.
QI.
Being more fit.



Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
Other peoples' opinion of me says more about them than me.
This isn't forever. Everything passes eventually.



Don't forget to post up your own version of Sanguine Saturday (any day, any format as long as it's positive-focused!) and shoot me the link! If you're joining us in this challenge, I want to know about it. Finally, of course, don't forget to check out this week's list of Sanguine Saturday versions:
Nobody this week! Lua, fern, I'm looking at you ladies in particular! ;)



Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Sanguine Saturday

Another Saturday rolls around...

After going way too long on way too little sleep (even I have limits!), I asked my new doctor for something to help and he took me off the Pristiq and onto Nortriptyline then gave me some sleeping pills to tide me over. Nortriptyline is a tricyclic AD which is what my mother is on (Dothiepin for her) so I'm very curious about the results of this and vaguely hopeful. Unfortunately this one is one of the ones that takes longer to even begin kicking in, so it's unlikely I'll see results for at least two weeks or more likely, a month.



Success Stories:
No burning.
I've been snacking on healthy food instead of junk.
I've been trying to stay distracted.
I did something extremely difficult that I absolutely did not want to do (but needed to for my own health).
I baked muffins, bread and cake this week. (Not all on the same day!)
Mum's birthday went off brilliantly. She loved her card, her present, the dinner I made and her surprise cake. (And so did everyone else!)
I asked for help with my sleeping.
I let myself have a day off from my walks while I adjusted to the new medication.
I asked permission to photograph Cayle (and got it).
I've spent some time doing creative things this week.



Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Giraffes.
Cayle.
Music.
Torchlight.
QI.
Getting sleep.



Challenge and cheer-leading statements (I've really been struggling with these lately.):
It won't last forever. Everything passes eventually, if we let it.
Forever is a really long time. A lot can change in that amount of time.



Don't forget to post up your own version of Sanguine Saturday (any day, any format as long as it's positive-focused!) and shoot me the link! If you're joining us in this challenge, I want to know about it. Finally, of course, don't forget to check out this week's list of Sanguine Saturday versions:
Nobody this week!



Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

An October Sanguine Saturday

Yep, it's Saturday again. Whatever I was sick with last week has cleared up leaving me none the wiser to what it was -- but the important part is that I'm better. Between the bug and the giant blister I gave myself (it was a blister on top of a blister on top of a blister...), I pretty much took this week off exercising. I did a little bit, but I majorly toned down my walking for the end half of the week. I'm back to it as of this afternoon, though!

In other news, at my psychology appointment this week Sonia and I discussed a new iniative being bought out by the government here because in November the mental health plan I was on was going to end anyway and she wanted to see me more often than once per week. So I'm being put under a plan called ATAPS which will give me unlimited sessions for the next two months, then I go up for another review and see from there. I feel good about this even though I know it's going to be really intense to have more frequent sessions.

This coming week is my mother's 60th birthday so I've been making plans to get her a really spectacular present and sort out a birthday cake for her that she can eat because she's diabetic. Busy busy!



Success Stories:
No drinking.
No burning.
I did some walking.
I took a break from my walking when it was made clear to me that I was doing too much while I was ill.
I've been keeping myself busy/distracted as much as I can rather than ruminating.
I spent time chasing my brothers up for my mother's birthday present, and I asked my brothers to do me a favour so I could make mum's birthday cake.
I disclosed some very difficult things during therapy this week.
I baked muffins.



Gratitudes/Happy Things:
Cayle the puppy whose name I have been spelling wrong. (He came into my therapy session this past week and it was awesome. He's so cute!)
Doing my washing and hanging it out on the line.
Music and singing.
Books.
Good friends.
There are giraffes in the world.
Torchlight and DDO.



Challenge and cheer-leading statements:
It's not about then. It's not about when. It's about this moment.
Feel the fear and do it anyway.
This too shall pass.
It's okay to have emotions, it's okay to feel.
It's okay to have thoughts and opinions. It's even okay to have thoughts and opinions that other people may not agree with.



Don't forget to post up your own version of Sanguine Saturday (any day, any format as long as it's positive-focused!) and shoot me the link! If you're joining us in this challenge, I want to know about it. Finally, of course, don't forget to check out this week's list of Sanguine Saturday versions:
Nobody this week!



Take care of yourselves until next time, and may we all find our own small fences along the way.